RETALIATION - "You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you" (Matthew 5:38-42).

There is something deep within the human psyche that demands justice be served when wrongs are committed. When we have been hurt, insulted, violated, mocked, injured, falsely accused, persecuted, etc., we typically turn inward and focus on the impact suffering has upon us, first and foremost.

Abuse can take on many forms and easily morph into an all-out attack on us emotionally and spiritually, more so than even physically. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world where evil and injustice take place, and we are left with a simple choice given the circumstance to either retaliate or forgive.

What complicates the situation even more is when those who offend us have little to no remorse over sins they’ve committed, reject owning their sin, have no desire to truly change their foolish ways, and/or continue their pattern of abuse with no consideration or contrition for damages caused. It is easier to forgive those who sin against us when they recognize their sin and ask for forgiveness.

However, how are we to respond to those who show no remorse for sins committed against us? How are we to forgive others when abuse continues without heart change? How long-suffering should we be?

Scripture is clear: "Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times'" (Matthew 18:21-22). In other words, true forgiveness does not have a maximum threshold that cannot be exceeded.

In Matthew 5:38-42, Jesus quickly debunks any rationale man could come up with to justify personal retaliation.

The mandate, “Eye for an eye; tooth for a tooth,” found in Leviticus 24:17-21 was instructed by God for the judges of Israel to use as a method of administering fair and equitable criminal justice. However, the religious leaders of Jesus' day twisted it as a weapon to enable a man to execute personal revenge.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of Jesus' teaching on retaliation is what He doesn't say. He fully understood how the Pharisees manipulated this Old Testament teaching to justify their personal sins, but He didn't address its misuse at all. Why?

Keep in mind, Jesus affirmed earlier in His sermon, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them" (Matthew 5:17).

What this tells us is there was no issue with the law of retaliation decreed in the Old Testament for systematic justice. Jesus endorsed it. But because Jesus knew man was using it for personal revenge and retribution (punishment inflicted as vengeance for sins committed), He flipped the script and encouraged His followers to choose love and forgiveness over retaliation as a method of reconciliation.

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35).

It must be clarified though that choosing to love and forgive does not endorse or justify sin.

For example, enabling a drug or alcohol addict, turning a blind eye to criminal activity, or remaining in a physically abusive or adulterous relationship is not wise. In those instances, separation is a necessary means to allow intervention, counseling, healing and treatment, not taking personal vengeance to repay the abuser for sins committed.

Those of us who are caught in such unfortunate circumstances must never lose focus of what Scripture teaches regarding vengeance. "Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all" (Romans 12:17).

For regarding the temptation to retaliate and pursue personal retribution, "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:19-21).

This is not an easy teaching in the slightest, especially for the innocent caught in a vicious cycle of abuse and personal danger, but the call to resist retaliation is a powerful instrument of grace God allows us to grant one another when we choose love over hate.

Jesus said, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).

This is a critical lesson on relinquishing control to Christ when we wrestle with temptation to react vs. respond toward those who hurt us. Often times, we are left to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts when trampled on by those we love the most.

For a wife bearing the immeasurable weight of spiritual warfare brought on by her adulterous husband, the insatiable desire to retaliate is overwhelming; or for a son thrust into the role of protecting his mother when his drunken father becomes abusive, personal revenge can seem justifiable.

In any given situation, the opportunity to obey fleshly desires is confronted by the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in every born-again Christian, exhorting us to relinquish personal rights for the sake of the Gospel.

The choice is not easy though, for the world would convince us that in order to find peace in the midst of a storm, we must take it upon ourselves to self-protect and ensure justice is served.

That is why John reminds us, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:15-17).

If we are to do the will of the Father, is resisting retaliation sufficient? Not entirely.

Jesus affirms going above and beyond the call of duty to magnify the grace of the Father which transcends human understanding. In other words, when we choose to love when love feels like the most illogical decision we could ever make, we are beginning to understand what it means to endure persecution for the sake of the Gospel and win souls for Christ.

Countless martyrs who were beaten, tortured and imprisoned before execution because they identified themselves as Christians came face to face with the absolute truth of Matthew 5:38-42, yet they chose to not only forego retaliation but love and forgive as Jesus did, even unto death.

Therefore, who are we to hold fast to unrighteous anger and/or hatred toward others when our Lord and Savior chose to not forsake us, but forgive and embrace us as His own beloved?

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:6-8). 

What Jesus teaches goes far beyond retaliation itself, transcending our perspective to one that identifies the opportunity before us to make radical choices contrary to our fleshly inclination.

Our primary purpose in life is to do the will of our Father in heaven who calls us to walk in His Word and live the Gospel out in our daily lives. Therefore, we are to discern every situation through prayer and petition so as to not enable or justify sin in others, but in wisdom apply love where love is the most illogical choice we could ever make in order to save others from eternal destruction.

"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them. To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law. To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings" (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on October 29, 2016 and has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.