Proverbs 10:19 (Restraint)

"When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent" (Proverbs 10:19).

I don't think any man would disagree that our words can have a negative impact on others—just ask our wives! Yet I believe in the language of Scripture it is easy to gloss over fancy words such as "transgression" and "prudent."

If we slow down and define words more clearly though, we'll not only understand the wisdom of this proverb, but God-willing apply its truth to our lives more frequently.

According to Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary (which was originally written from a Biblical perspective), a "transgression" is defined as "the act of passing over or beyond any law or rule of moral duty; the violation of a moral law; breach of command."

Therefore in applying this definition to Proverb 10:19, when our words are many, the potential opportunity for our moral compass begins to sway away from blessing and more to cursing.

Conversely, "prudent" is defined by Webster as "cautious, practically wise, careful of the consequences," thus giving us the end in mind to calculate the impact of our words before they are spoken. I dare say that conflict resolution in marriage is a prime application in context of these definitions.

In the end, we must recognize our patterns of communication with others, and particularly in marriage. For me, I can easily fall into a trap of talking too much and not listening to understand others, especially my wife. I can be focused more on my defense or rebuttal than hearing the truth of an argument made against me.

In truth, pride is the driving force, but it cannot be an excuse that hinders me from making positive change. I must learn to tame my tongue, and as my mother preached repeatedly to me as a child, "Think before you speak!" Only then will I begin to build a new discipline of not only measuring my words, but ensuring they are morally and Biblically sound before they are spoken.