EVERY MOTHER, EVERY FATHER (The Porter’s Gate)

Children are one of life's greatest blessings for a parent and the source of some of our greatest trials and anxiety as well. No matter whether they've brought us joy or sorrow, we all need the Lord's grace and mercy to minister and shepherd them by the power of the Holy Spirit according to His Word.

However, that does not assume the road is straight, the journey smooth, and the end result favorable. There are certainly days when we've lost our compass and feel incapable of gathering our wits to respond in love and not react in anger.

Those are the moments we desperately need patience, clarity, and peace of mind to weather the storms of parenting, and a prayer like the one in our feature song, “Every Mother, Every Father,” by The Porter’s Gate, can help facilitate that process.

God's Word affirms, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!" (Psalm 127:3–5).

Therefore, reminding ourselves how privileged we are to be entrusted by God as shepherds of His children and mirrors of His unconditional love for them is an extraordinary blessing and priceless gift. However, it carries with it tremendous responsibility not to be taken lightly.

For many parents have neglected their Biblical role as mothers and fathers, and subsequently drove a wedge of dissension and rebellion in the hearts of their children because of their lack of obedience to the Lord. That is why the Bible warns, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

Our goal as parents is simply to encourage our children to seek after Jesus, respond to His invitation of salvation, and embrace a personal relationship with Him. Therefore, we are wise to first model that behavior in the hope that one day they will surrender their lives to Christ (just as we have) and live according to His sovereign will (just as we are).

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (3 John 1:4).

LYRICS: “Every mother, every father, called to raise up sons or daughters: May your heart be patient, may your mind be clear, may our God be with you and calm your fears.”

When I first heard, "Every Mother, Every Father," I was captivated by the beauty of its simplicity and reminded that a short, genuine prayer can convey more of our heart's longing in the moment than any eloquent supplication we could offer to the Lord. For when the chaos of life surrounds us, we need to pause and allow the Spirit to intercede on our behalf; because often times, we are too overwhelmed to think clearly.

Scripture affirms, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God" (Romans 8:26–27).

For those who have (or have had) the privilege of shepherding children of our own, prayer is a precious gift we have been given to communicate directly with God's heart; yet it is often under-utilized, even by the body of Christ. How can this be? In some cases, it's simply because of pride, laziness, and self-serving motives which conflict with God's will.

"You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions" (James 4:2–3). 

However, more often than not, we find ourselves caught in the time constraints of work, school, extracurricular activities, church, family, etc., which monopolize our attention to the detriment of quality time with the Lord. As a result, we lose sight of what's most important far too frequently and fall victim to busyness and subsequent stress, forgetting what God's Word has to say about our plight.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:25–34).

In many ways, Satan has baited us into believing quality time with the Lord is too great a sacrifice to prioritize in our daily schedules. More pressing issues and tasks at hand demand our immediate attention. Therefore, we justify in our minds that the Lord can wait until we have more time to dedicate our full attention to Him.

Why do we think this way? Could it be we take advantage of His patience and assume He is long-suffering, not realizing how passionately He abhors idolatry.

"For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God" (Deuteronomy 4:24).

Perhaps we view daily "quiet time" as impossible to incorporate or too burdensome to carve into our schedules? Again, God's Word declares, "You shall have no other gods before me" (Exodus 20:3). It is a heart decision whether we PRIORITIZE God first, which compels us to reconcile whether God is an accessory in our lives used to manipulate our public, "Christian" perception, or the foundation of our entire being.

We would certainly never build a home without pouring a firm foundation to begin with. Therefore, we must plan our schedules accordingly to ensure God receives the first fruits of our complete and undivided attention, rather than whatever discretionary time and energy we have left (if any) at the end of our day. 

Jesus said, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28–30).

It seems I've quoted Matthew 11:28–30 frequently in my most recent personal reflections, but I believe we need to constantly remind ourselves of Jesus' promise in order to gain victory over the busyness of life. Why? Because in many ways, we begrudgingly approach the throne of grace out of obligation or duty rather than willful compulsion.

A healthy "want to" desire is supplanted by a negative "have to" attitude, and the end result testifies clearly within our spiritual disciplines. It's embarrassing to admit, but my spiritual immaturity can easily be traced back to my heart's perspective regarding Matthew 11:28–30.

In other words, I tend to view quality time with God in Bible study and prayer as work instead of pleasure, which manifests itself by my prioritization of immediate and temporary satisfactions of the world over the peace of God which transcends all understanding.

In reality, it's simply a spiritual warfare tactic Satan uses to tempt me to question the authority of Scripture under the justification, "Did God really say?" (Genesis 3:1), as I discern how I will invest my time each day. In the end, I must filter Satan's lies and preach the Gospel to my heart in order to discern what is honorable and true in the sight of the Lord.

"Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them" (Hosea 14:9).

Scripture exhorts, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:4–7).

Many of us have lost our spiritual joy because we consider our faith more as a burden to manage and upkeep than a personal relationship to nurture and develop. Certainly, we desire intimacy with the Lord where our hearts are in tune with His will at all times. However, we are short-sided if we believe neglecting quality time with God has any bearing on our spiritual health and maturity.

Like Esau trading his eternal birthright for a momentary bowl of soup, far too often we willingly trade our opportunity to rest in the presence of Jesus for whatever immediate task demands our attention instead. There may be legitimate needs which require our focus at times, but that should be the exception to the rule rather than the standard.

For if we increasingly justify why we're not in our Bibles, nor praying or doing family devotions, nor even attending church regularly, then we are trading our spiritual birthright for a bowl of soup to the detriment of our faith.

Scripture warns, "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). Granted, the focus of this verse may center on financial provision, but we are wise to ensure we're providing invaluable spiritual leadership in our homes as well, which begins with humility, sustained by faith, and bathed in prayer.

It has been said that "Every Mother, Every Father" feels like a spiritual lullaby for parents. I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. This lyrical prayer sung in captivating harmonies can have a profound impact on our hearts if we simply stop and listen to them when the trials of life infringe upon our comforts, and confess our need of grace and mercy in the moment to God.

Far too often, we try to muscle our way through whatever obstacles lie before us and strong-arm our children into doing what we say because we say so, rather than teaching them what God has to say because He loves us and His Word is forever true.

It requires a shift in perspective, for no one enters into parenting knowing exactly what to do in every circumstance. In many ways, we endure trial by fire and lean upon our own strength and understanding far too often as the blueprint for universal success and happiness.

What we fail to realize early on in the child-rearing days is that the spiritual foundation we pour and solidify at the beginning of their lives will dictate how well they withstand the inevitable storms of life, and that begins with making Christ the cornerstone of our homes.

"Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it" (Matthew 7:24–27). 

In the end, whether our children accept or reject Jesus as Lord and Savior of their lives is independently their decision. However, we can ensure we equip them with the foundation and tools necessary to navigate the storms of life with confidence if we're teaching them what God's Word has to say and emulating the application of His standard in our own lives.

Therefore, it begins with our submission, obedience, and surrendering our pride at the foot of the cross each day by calling upon the name of Jesus to guard our tongues and guide our actions. For no one ever said parenting was easy, but shepherding a child can be the most rewarding experience this side of heaven for those who trust in the Lord no matter the circumstance and teach their children to do the same.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones" (Proverbs 3:5–8).

Bottom-line, none of our children will ever be perfect, but we can ensure they know who God is, what He has done for their salvation, and how they can place their hope and trust in His eternal provision without reservation. Only then will we be able to enter the throne of grace confident we have obeyed the Lord's call to teach, admonish and exhort our children unto righteousness for His name's sake and glory. 

PERSONAL TESTIMONY: It is impossible for me to listen to this song and not reflect upon how blessed I am to have an angel for my soulmate and four daughters who reflect her true beauty, integrity and character. My wife is an amazing woman who not only home-schools our two oldest daughters, but manages the demands of our two toddler daughters as well. The enormous sacrifice she makes day after day is immeasurable, yet the fruit of her labor is evident because all four of our girls are genuinely sweet, compassionate, tenderhearted, and well-mannered, just like my wife. However, when I look at my middle-school daughters in particular, I see a far deeper impact of my wife's unwavering faith, humility and meekness which have not only been passed down, but planted deep in the soil of their hearts where strong roots have developed. I would be foolish to assume the investment she makes in their education is easy, for I know it comes with a great cost of patience, time and energy, which she willingly sacrifices without reservation. Daughters look up to their mothers, in particular, with great attention to detail and, at times, unfair scrutiny. But I am so proud of her because despite the demands on her schedule, she is disciplined enough to prioritize quiet time with the Lord each morning in Bible study and prayer. Perhaps that is why I fell in love with "Every Mother, Every Father" the first time I heard it, because it reminds me of my angel who represents the beauty of the lyrics and acoustic harmonies. May I learn to intercede on her behalf and sing this precious prayer over her each morning to ensure her spirit is strengthened, her countenance lifted, and her heart and mind protected, that she may rest in the arms of the Savior where grace and mercy flow freely.