Song of Solomon 1:5-6 (Purity)
“I am very dark, but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me. My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” (Song of Solomon 1:5–6).
In today’s culture, the concept of PURITY is rarely talked about. Most people have no construct of what it looks like anymore, let alone how one remains pure in a hyper-sexualized culture such as ours.
Without question, purity is dismissed by our culture as old-fashioned, uber-conservative, culturally irrelevant, and archaic. It sees little value in prioritizing purity because freedom of choice and personal expression are valued as more important.
The sad truth is Satan has succeeded in baiting us to rationalize our behavior rather than accept personal responsibility for our poor decisions, hence why sexual immorality is rampant and promiscuity commonplace in our culture.
Truthfully, we’ve lost our moral compass and our degradation can easily be identified by a lack of understanding regarding how passionately God abhors those who disregard His Word to satisfy their sexual desires outside of marriage.
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).
PURITY:
In order to unlock the wisdom of Song of Solomon 1:5-6, we must first understand that purity is not a recommendation from God to aspire toward, but rather a stern command we must seriously adhere to daily for our protection.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5).
“For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness” (1 Thessalonians 4:7).
Moreover, protecting the heart begins with reprogramming the mind to esteem holiness (from a moral perspective) as our “pearl of great price,” by guarding the body from yielding to sexual desires and holding firm to purity.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it” (Matthew 13:45–46).
“This is not about the culture out there. It’s about those of us here—about what we as Christians are doing, what we are seeing, and what we may not know we are doing and seeing. I’m afraid we don’t have the eyes to see how much the world has squeezed us into its mold.
If we could transport Christians from almost any other century to any of today’s “Christian” countries in the West, I believe what would surprise them most (besides our phenomenal affluence) is how at home Christians are with sexual impurity.
It doesn’t shock us. It doesn’t upset us. It doesn’t offend our consciences. In fact, unless it’s really bad, sexual impurity seems normal, just a way of life, and downright entertaining.”
Just as Kevin DeYoung pointedly states, what is most tragic about the purity debate is how those within the church have yielded to the pattern of this world and accepted moral defeat. In other words, personal restraint has been left open for interpretation based on whatever “feels good” or “sounds right,” which is NOT what the Bible teaches whatsoever.
“But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).
Sadly, what many fail to realize is that an immeasurable price was paid by the Lord alone to literally save us from ourselves. Yet what message do we communicate back to Him when we choose to live without moral boundaries to safeguard our hearts and minds?
“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Romans 6:1–2).
IDENTITY:
The beauty of Song of Solomon 1:5-6 is its simplicity in providing a blueprint for what purity looks like. It is not self-consumed or arrogant, but delicate, honest, and vulnerable, demonstrating how personal character is far more important than physical appearance.
This is an incredible teaching for young women in particular to learn because it shows how God blesses those who submit to His ultimate authority, obey His Word unconditionally, and surrender to His will without hesitation.
Solomon’s bride could have easily succumbed to peer pressure, yet she chose to honor God and her example is a shining light throughout Scripture for all women to emulate. Therefore, let us examine the text.
She states in verse-5, “I am very dark, but lovely.” However, she immediately responds self-consciously in verse-6, “Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me.” Why?
Undoubtedly, there is not a woman alive who does not struggle with self-doubt at one point or another in her life, because culture is relentless in its moral degradation of women and the expectations it places on them behaviorally to gain the attention of men.
However, what is even more tragic is how women have been influenced by our culture to identify themselves physically, first and foremost, rather than spiritually (in Christ). Even Solomon’s bride struggled with peer pressure in her day to identify with the cultural standard.
Keep in mind, women typically veiled themselves and covered their skin to promote modesty and honor God, but also to protect them from the hot sun living in a arid, desert climate.
That was not the case with Solomon’s bride, though, because she allowed her skin to become sunburnt while working in the vineyard, and it was enough to make her nervous about her worthiness in the eyes of King Solomon.
“My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” (Song of Solomon 1:6).
CHARACTER:
What we cannot miss from this passage is how moral character far outweighs cultural influence. Solomon’s bride had enough self-esteem to physically view herself as pleasing in the sight of the Lord, “I am very dark, but lovely,” but questioned whether she was acceptedly beautiful in the sight of mankind, “Do not gaze at me because I am dark, because the sun has looked upon me.”
However, the reason she was not able to tend to her body was because she had to work in the vineyard. In other words, respect for authority and fulfilling her dutiful obligations as a servant trumped spending time primping her physical appearance to gain the attention of men.
“They made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” (Song of Solomon 1:5–6).
As a woman, she understood the importance of tending to her skin (i.e. her own vineyard) and what that meant for attracting a future husband, but she prioritized personal character as MORE IMPORTANT than physical appearance.
Therefore, submission, obedience, and surrender to authority took greater precedence than yielding to cultural pressure and measuring her self-worth based on how she physically looked in the sight of man.
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:3–4).
This should be an incredible encouragement, because God has emancipated woman from the bondage of cultural comparison and the approval of man. No woman should ever doubt her value in the eyes of God, for God does not measure beauty by outward adornment but rather by her purity of heart and imperishable character.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
GOD’S SOVEREIGNTY:
What makes Song of Solomon one of the most encouraging books in the Bible is because we have the benefit of knowing how the story ends and what lessons can be learned. Case in point: If we fast-forward to the end of the book, we come full circle to God’s sovereignty on display.
“We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day when she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar” (Song of Solomon 8:8–9).
In other words, if a woman is a “wall” in her moral convictions, she is resolute on what she will NOT do to earn the love and affection of a man. However, if she is a “door,” she’s communicating that her mind and body are open and willing to compromise her purity to any man willing and available.
Tragically, far too many women have abandoned their moral purity for the promise of love and commitment, only to discover it was merely a mirage. That is why it is imperative we learn from the mistakes of past generations and embrace the absolute truth of Scripture which teaches us what a God-honoring, covenant relationship looks like this side of heaven.
For instance, remember what Solomon’s bride said in chapter-1 when she explained why she failed to protect her skin and primp her physical appearance like the rest of the maidens?
“My mother’s sons were angry with me; they made me keeper of the vineyards, but my own vineyard I have not kept!” (Song of Solomon 1:6).
What she did not realize was that her obedience to those in authority over her as caretakers of the vineyard (her brothers) demonstrated whether she was more concerned with pleasing herself or God. That is why she concluded, “I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers; then I was in his eyes as one who finds peace” (Song of Solomon 8:10).
In other words, because her CHARACTER was so striking and counter-cultural, her beauty shone through (compared to all other women) and immediately caught the attention of Solomon. Yet, what makes this story so sovereignly perfect is that the vineyard where her brothers were caretakers was, in fact, Solomon’s vineyard!
“Solomon had a vineyard at Baal-hamon; he let out the vineyard to keepers; each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver” (Song of Solomon 8:11).
APPLICATION:
The key takeaway from Song of Solomon 1:5-6 is that it does not matter what a woman looks like on the outside, for true beauty is not found in physical features, but rather moral character and purity.
Therefore, as fathers, we should purpose to celebrate, affirm, and encourage our daughters to prioritize their relationship with God above all else. However, lessons are best received when modeled, so it is critical we lead our families spiritually by prioritizing God’s Word in every aspect of our lives, first and foremost, if we expect them to emulate the same.
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3–5).
What that means is we must teach our daughters to intentionally resist the world’s temptations and relative truth—to love the Lord whole-heartedly and feed upon His absolute truth daily for clarity, wisdom and discernment.
We must also teach them to have firm, resolute boundaries—to save their first kiss for their wedding day, resist physical touch which tempts them to desire more, and implement accountability by getting to know one another publicly vs. privately.
It also means we are laser-focused on developing personal character and teaching God’s Word by example to help increase their knowledge, understanding, and application of Scripture, so the lessons they learn become wisdom stored deep in their hearts and minds all the days of their lives.
BOTTOM-LINE:
Teaching purity in a culture bent on manipulating the psyche and moral standard of women is not an easy task. It is a monumental endeavor for any father to undertake as spiritual leader, but its value and worth cannot be underestimated.
Therefore, we must step up to the plate, men, and not simply TELL our daughters how to live, but TEACH them how to survive the world’s temptations through applicable lessons on attraction, dating, courtship, and marriage from the Song of Solomon.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
For if we will not take the initiative to protect our daughters from sin and all unrighteousness, rest assured the enemy will do everything in his power to tempt them to abandon their purity for the pleasures of this world.
And to those of us who have failed to protect our daughters and, in retrospect, are reaping the consequences of not prioritizing purity in our homes, let us humble ourselves, repent of our sins, learn from our mistakes, seek forgiveness, and hold firm to God’s promise to restore what the enemy has stolen (Joel 2:25), so God may be honored in our hearts and purity elevated to its rightful place in our homes to the glory of Jesus’ name.
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him’” (Lamentations 3:22–24).
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